One For Truth

Pray for Marriage

Marriage is not easy. I happen to have a blessed one, but it took a lot of hard work and pain to get where we are now. We are watching those close to us struggle in their marriages, and it hurts. Of course, no one suffers more than the children, and the detritus of adult selfishness is already playing itself out before us after just a few decades of our careless experimentations with the marriage, relationship & gender models of old. The problem with the experiments is not that they are all unworthy, or that they haven't produced some good results. The problem is that they were all embarked upon with the goal of increasing individual happiness and freedom rather than strengthening the marriage bond and enhancing the commitment of parents to their children.

And here we are today. Women have more professional freedom (good thing!), men are more involved in their family lives (good thing!), and... well, that's pretty much it. And on the other hand, we have divorce, broken families, children born out of wedlock, increased STDs, AIDS, abortions, and untold relationship problems suffered by adult children of divorce.

We need to get smart about who we are and what marriage is all about. And trust me--if you're married, it isn't about you and your happiness. It is about making a commitment that is everywhere, all the time, in every way, bigger than your happiness, your goals in life, your freedom, and your desires. Everywhere. All the time. Period. You must decrease, and your spouse and children must increase. If you can't buy that, don't get married.

And on the subject of experimentation, let men be fully men and women be fully women. This jacked up notion of how everyone has feminine and masculine natures, and we all need to learn to balance them, is absolute crap. Men may take on feminine aspects, and women masculine, but it violates the design spec and will cause problems. But as Forrest Gump might say, this topic is "a whole other country."

posted by Zeke @ 10:26 PM